When dealing with people, sometimes they come in already cranked to 11.
Take this with you:
"𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝗲."
They are bringing pain with them from somewhere or something that you know nothing about, so you treat it just like that:
Foreign.
𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴.
There. You just diffused the bomb.
You made it about them, and you showed them that someone cares about them.